Dhia Abdul Rahman (not his real name), a twenty-seven-year-old Libyan gay man who lived in the city of Tripoli, met him in one of the training workshops and felt a desire to participate in one of the many incidents that happened to him because he was a gay person in Libya.

Last summer my friend Waseem (not his real name) came to me from Misurata. Wassim wanted to see the city and took him to several landmarks. We went to the Andalus neighborhood and then the square.

At night, Wassim wanted to visit the sea, so we went and sat on a nearby beach. We were a large group, about seven or eight people. We felt safe because some families were close. We spent the evening drinking tea and hookah. We talked a long time, “with no worries.”

My friend who came from another city called me, missed the road when he was coming, and after I made it clear to him again, he managed to reach our place after a little delay. He looked at me with his facial expressions, he said that he took a wrong turn which led him to a group of gunmen who were interested in interrogating him about the reason for his coming. He had to lie and tell them that his grandfather was living near this place and he must have lost the way. They bought his lie and let him go, we were unaware that these were common occurrences in Tripoli, and we returned to our talks.

A strange appearance passed us by us, whose movements were suspicious. we played masculine, turns out he was just a passing by person, then ten armed men approached us and started talking.

– Alsallamu alikom

– peace be upon you, can I help you?

– you seem to enjoy your time, is it wine?

– We only drink water, tea, and hookah, would you like to join?

– (Suddenly shouted) everybody stand!

We realized at the time that they were affiliated with a security agency or militia. We all came up and then ordered us to hand over our phones and the action started.

They checked us one by one, we were with two gay brothers, whose gender expressions were feminine, and one of them wore a headscarf on his shoulders to protect him from the cold. Their leader shouted: “Is this a man dressed?! Are you fucking?! Who fucks who?! The men are in the battle field and you are here fagging around? and with all these excessive homophobia and profound hatred that these questions carry, they tried to humiliate us in various ways and did not care about a letter from what we say.

He asked me where I live and I answered him, which is an area known to be a conservative place, his face became angry, saying, “You are a liar! people like you don’t live there!” I told him the names of my relatives who lived there and asked him if he had anything to do with them, until I mentioned a name, and fortunately, they turned out to be friends! Then he told me that he would call him, and if he was not my relative, as I claim, he would kill me immediately. “your mom won’t be seeing you again”

He grabbed his phone while calling, I felt so tense that I had not seen that relative for years, and that we are not close relatives.

“hello, do you know that relative?”

He didn’t remember me at first, then the tension became horror, and after a few seconds of memorizing he managed to remember me, I had a feeling I had never experienced before! Similar to the feeling of complete safety, the leader in his phone call:

“We found him sitting across the sea with a group of gays and we will enforce god’s will on them. (my relative replies) “Do nothing! I’m coming.”

We went through a difficult time before my relative arrived, and they sarcastically asked us, “Do you want to be taken to alradaa or alnawassi?” They are two Salafi militias with a history of enforced disappearance and torture of homosexuals in Tripoli. I could not stand more of their bullying and answered him, saying:

“If you already have a place, take us to it! Do not try to humiliate me here in front of the public! Judge me by the law! Did you find me doing drugs? Drinking alcohol? Or having sex in a public place? He interrupts me with a slap on my face saying “are you the head of this group”?

“I didn’t stay quiet, and I faced him again: “These are my friends who came to me from another city and were well-received, and if we wanted to do something inconsistent with the values of our society, we would have done it in a private house not in a public place!”

Then, he pulled a 9mm pistol and ordered us to go down on our knees and put our hands behind our heads until “God’s will is commanded,” as he claims. They beat us, I pretended to lose my consciousness, and they left us until my relative came. When he arrived, he was angry and shouted to them, “these people are clean, Gay or not, you have nothing to do with them!” and due to the fact that he’s a friend of the group leader, they let us go.

The horror scene lasted for three hours and ended at two o’clock at night, and before all that ended, I seriously thought about suicide, I did not want my family to hear about what had happened, my family did not know that I was gay, the scandal eased, I wished if they were holding me in a cell that the sun did not see In exchange for not informing my parents. I know for sure that I am not ready now, nor are they ready to accept it. “